During mediation it is really important, though often really hard, to keep communication with your ex civilized.
Communication can be hampered when you feel too anxious, angry or upset. Basic exercises may help – take a breath, go for a walk, count to ten.
Finding a way to communicate effectively will reap many benefits not least in reducing the conflict you and your children experience.
The reality for most separated parents is that they will need to communicate about their children’s needs for years to come so better to get it right now.
In moments of high conflict you may find that the following helps:
Establish boundaries – if you feel you are being ignored or if you feel inundated with requests/emails/ texts, set out with your ex an acceptable level of communication and then take responsibility for sticking to what you’ve agreed.
Establish your objective – what do you want to get out of the communication
Avoid bringing up past conflicts/disagreements
Avoid point scoring and concentrate on moving forward.
Avoid using your children as messengers or conduits of information between you and your ex.
Consider getting professional advice on helping you communicate.
If you find yourself arguing, imagine your child or children are in the room – what would they want you to do.
Remember that if things get too heated you always have the option of leaving the room, going for a walk.etc.